Claudius is no fool

Someone trying to convince me England is the best country in the world

pragnello:

This isn’t a “HUH WE SUCK BRING ME BACK TO THE SIXTIES HURRHURR BORN IN THE WRONG GENERATION” thing cuz I don’t hate England or anything.

But we’re not the best.

Someone the other day was trying to make the argument that Obama wasn’t a good president because he jeopardised the ‘special relationship’ (that phrase is only ever going to be weird) the US has with Britain, and this was bad because Britain is the US’ “strongest ally”

It was like… reeaaaally though? Are we? I mean we don’t even have that much sway in the EU, we’re basically the awkward friend they invite to dinner out of pity and then we complain about the food and talk about leaving the restaurant, but end up staying and finishing the dinner anyway because we just want to be included.

Just remembered that he said he’d been watching the room for 45 minutes while tripping. I just realised he meant the room he was sitting in and not the directed-by-Tommy-Wiseau-starring-Tommy-Wiseau cinema classic The Room.

imagine tripping your balls off to Tommy Wiseau’s face

like a long-haired terminally ill christopher walken

My friend Nick’s in Amsterdam for the first time and he left Thursday morning, and he called me like an hour ago from a private number, and I answered and eventually he responded with a really delayed “hey”. And then there was another pause, followed by “I’m tripping on shrooms.”

So I’m just laughing like, what? I was expecting him just to be like ‘yeah man I’m just smoking a joint in the coffeeshop’ not ‘hey I’m hallucinating right now what’s up’

So I’m talking to him about it, and mainly just laughing because his speech is a little on the fucked side and what I can make out is just pretty strange. At one point he goes “I bought the stems and I thought, it’s just the stems, won’t do much right? …But yeah, I’m tripping balls” and then “so, I have a joint. I’m smoking it. I don’t remember rolling it, but yep, it’s here.” Then there was some more hard to decipher mumbling and then just “so what are you doing right now?” and when I answer he says “Cool. I just called to ask what you were up to. So anyway, have a good night.”

so i just learnt what the ladder theory is

don’t give up nice guys, keep abiding by those misogynistic doctrines and one day a drunk girl at a party might decide to sleep with you

yay i got granted concessions woo go me

does the internet explorer 9 advert know that it’s advertising internet explorer 9

ryan gosling must be having a really good life

I just watched a 2 minute 59 second long video called ‘2000 ducks’

and it was just that

it was 2000 ducks

i walked into my friend’s room at 2am

there were like 3 people i didn’t know in there

and a dog

okay

“if you had infinity money for the rest of your life but you had to turn to yoghurt at some point in the next 30 years for an hour and you don’t know when that would be, would you do it?”